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Suddenly, those in whom there arose an inexplicable, instinctive yearning for meat cooked over wood coals and, thereby, imbued with the essence of purified flavors of the wood, lacked the lore to create it. Into this Dismal Swamp of ignorance rushed the demons of disinformation.

Unveiling their newest buzz work, they flung meat into the ghastly gasses of burning wood; blackened it in the phenolic resins of wood smoke and pronounced it "SMOKIN!" They flooded television and magazines with depictions of meat lapped by flickering flames and created nonsensical but appealing phrases like, 'Flame Broiled!' Palates dulled by generations of feeding on fast food burgers, tv dinners and prepackaged pap rushed to join the frenetic frenzy believing, with the ardor of innocence, that "BURNT IS BEAUTIFUL!"

Like a virulent, swiftly moving plague, the misologyous message swept the land. Even those with more competence than confidence became seduced by the idea of SMOKIN! So for a dark period, cooking technique regressed hundreds of thousands of years. Good meat was burnt upon the altars of ignorance. Children, who formerly could eat from their father's grill, were forced to eat pizza. Those allergic to phenols or not wishing to embrace benzene were driven from the patios.

But, even the dullest palates and most naive minds began to question. Slowly, the latent instincts, which have guided mankind from the savannahs of Africa to the mares of the moon, became aroused. Among the more discerning, the first reaction was, "What am I doing wrong? Good meat is not supposed to taste bitter. Dare I doubt the priests of PR!" But, gradually, the truth became unavoidably obvious, "Over-smoked meat does not taste good."

Recovery, like the taste of over smoked meat, is harsh. It requires that one accept responsibility for a temporary loss of critical thinking, a susceptibility to the herd instinct and an uncertain palate. The outlook for individual recovery, however, is excellent.

Fortunately, the lamps of enlightenment have been relit and coals of sanity have been rekindled. More and more people are relearning a verity: meat cooked in the smoke stream of burning wood gets marred with cresols and phenols and other noxious volatiles which make good wood preservatives and disinfectants but don't taste very good, even to an unskilled palate.

Besides unbounded enthusiasm, spurred by abject ignorance, what permitted this travesty to good taste even to start was the development of the horizontal cooker with an offset firebox. When meat was cooked directly over the heat source, the results of flames and wood smoke were immediately apparent to even the dullest pates and palates. Even users of the tin can water smokers quickly deduce that it is very easy to turn what was a fine piece of meat into a mummified creosote fossil, unattractive even to flies and maggots with taste.

In the sidewinder cookers, the heated air, however baffled and directed, still flows in strata according to the temperature. This means that the hotter air flows up to the top of the cooking chamber and out the stack without necessarily coming into contact with the meat on the grate. Although some cookers are designed so that the heated air must exit below the meat, the flow is up and over, rather than under, around and through, so that the meat does not normally come into intimate contact with grossly excessive smoke. Rather, as the smoke cools, some of it is deposited on the sides of the cooker and builds up layers of creosote. This shiny black, acrid layer is an indication of an inexperienced cook. Sometimes, however, even this serendipitous air flow cannot prevent too much smoke being deposited on the meat. Eventually, even to those whose reasoning is as dense and the smoke they produce, there comes an awakening "Less is more better."

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Smoky's 5th basic position for really great barbecue'n.  

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